Celebrate Joni and Ken’s 44th anniversary with them by listening in to their interview that talks about all things marriage and caregiving.
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For Better or Worse – Disability has a way of trying even the best of marriages. The cumulative effects of daily routines that never vary, social isolation, financial pressures, unmet expectations, and a life that is vastly different from most couples can wear on the spirits of the strongest husband and wife.
Married to Joni Eareckson Tada for more than 37 years, Ken Tada shares that disability does not have to be the defining word in your marriage. Instead disability is an invitation for you and your spouse to depend on Jesus in your weakness and grow closer to each other than you ever thought possible.
SHAUNA: This is Shauna on Joni Eareckson Tada: Sharing Hope. Joni, I am glad you have Ken in the studio to help celebrate your 44th wedding anniversary today. Congratulations!
JONI: Thank you!
SHAUNA: Now, a lot of Bible verses have been shared on this program, but Ken, if you were to pick one that best describes your marriage, what would it be?
KEN: Well, Shauna, I think I would pick 1 Peter 4:10 – “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another.” It’s what Joni and I have learned to do all these years we’ve been together: we serve each other.
JONI: And I should add that Ken Tada does most of the serving as my caregiver. Now, I have other helpers; some women from my church and the like but my husband is the air traffic controller, as it were. He takes the main responsibility in helping with my quadriplegia and pain and the lung problems. Ken, you describe what it’s like.
KEN: Sometimes it’s hard. But I took those vows seriously when we said, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. And sickness and in health.” God called me to take care of you Joni and that’s what I’m trying to do.
JONI: I’m grateful for your help Ken but Shauna you should also know that Ken helps me to go to bed at night. He works the Hoyer lift that lifts me into bed. He prepares meals and he feeds them to me. He always insists on being the one to take me to medical appointments.
KEN: I order and pick up your medications and clean all the urological equipment. And I help with toileting routines. Joni’s nebulizing machine just broke down and that’s gotta be fixed.
JONI: Not to mention a wheelchair that needs to be charged and serviced and fixed. Taking care of our adapted van, you do that too – especially when it breaks down – the lift. And of course, Ken, you do all the shopping.
KEN: Joni, you and I have learned in our caregiving experience some things that might help other caregivers.
JONI: Oh, especially if it is your spouse you’re caring for. Like always expressing appreciation for each other. Respecting each other. Never go to sleep angry. Learn to pray together, even if it feels awkward at first. And find a Bible reading plan that you can do together. It is so needful that you and your spouse build a relationship around the Word of God.
KEN: You know, Joni and I have invited our church into our lives.
JONI: That’s right. We receive a lot of practical help from friends at church and that means it is important that caregiving families ask for help. It’s another one of those awkward things, but it opens the door. I mean, it sure is nice to have visitors from church but families like yours and mine Ken – we need respite.
KEN: And Joni, we both know that caregiving is really, really demanding and I think it’s good to always be respectful of each other. And we found that out when we do these things, it’s like Ephesians 4:16 where it says that the body grows “when each part is working properly.” Joni, we just have to work together to make our marriage work.
JONI: And that’s what makes today a very happy wedding anniversary!
KEN: I love celebrating our anniversary because I love you so much!
SHAUNA: Oh, let me add my happy anniversary to both of you today. And for all our listeners who are serving as caregivers, Ken Tada has written an excellent booklet called “For Better or Worse,” and he would like to send it to you today. So just go to joniradio.org and ask for your free copy. And listening friend, we want to pray for you. Go to joniradio.org today and leave us your prayer request. And while you’re there, check out the many resources and radio programs there at your fingertips and be sure to share that link with a friend in need of encouragement too. It’s joniradio.org.
© Joni and Friends