When you feel heartbreak, don’t have let your emotions keep you from taking the next faithful step.
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There’s a time to feel and a time to really think things through.
Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada, and that’s a principle straight out of the book of Ecclesiastes. There is a time to wound and a time to heal. Or I would paraphrase – there is a time to feel things deeply, and there’s also a time to move beyond those heavy feelings. And I know you’d agree. When tragedy blindsides you and almost knocks you silly, you’re bewildered. It’s natural to feel confusion and panic. When tragedy strikes, you may feel like giving up. Or staying stuck in the past. You may feel a thousand things. But at some point, somewhere along the line, if you don’t stop feeling and start thinking about how to attend to the circumstances you find yourself in, you’re going to freeze.
My friends Ted and Lisa are experiencing this right now. This past summer, this young couple lost Adam, their little toddler, in a terrible drowning accident. The family had left the pool, everyone was inside, but after a bit, Lisa realized that Adam was not in the living room where she left him. They raced out back, and somehow, that little guy had snuck out the back door. It was all so tragic, so heartbreaking. The grief was almost more than they could bear. We can’t even imagine it.
Yes, intense suffering calls for deep emotions. In the aftermath of a terrible tragedy, people are going to weep. And we should weep. God weeps. But there is also a time to think. Neither can replace the other. And when you are able to raise your head above the heartache in which you are swimming, the Bible will help you take the next step. Because it’s full of encouragements to think and ponder and consider and weigh. Jesus would often ask, “What is written in the law?” People would then blink, sniff back their feelings, flip the pages in their mind, and think out loud, and come up with the relevant Scriptures. But this did not end the discussion, because next was the real work. For Jesus would then ask, “How do you read it?” That is, what do you think these Scriptures mean? How do they apply? How do you embrace them in your suffering? Jesus never allowed room for feelings to dictate our response to tough issues of life.
And that’s where Ted and Lisa are living right now. They are trying to raise their head above the heartache and take the next step. What next, God? How in the name of heaven do we move forward? How do we keep from getting stuck in remorse and loss? Well, one thing they’re doing is celebrating their son’s life, short as though it were. They are trying their best not to dwell on what was taken away, but how, for a very brief time, God had given little Adam to add to their lives. They know they still will grieve and grieve hard. And the Scripture that Ted and Lisa are embracing as they move forward – that God is trustworthy; the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away.
What you think about God influences your relationship with Him. But your imaginations about God, your feelings – especially in tragedies – those things are not reliable. If you simply trust your emotions about God, you recreate a lesser, unreliable God in your own image. Do you struggle to move beyond the hard things that God allows? Well then, make the Bible your only safe source of knowledge about Him. And then, raise your head above the heartbreak, make Scripture your guide, and step out into the days ahead. Just like Ted and Lisa are doing. And if you need help, if you need someone to pray for you, our team at Joni and Friends stands ready. Share with us your prayer request at joniradio.org. And I’ll see you next time on Sharing Hope.
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