Affirming the good you see in others strengthens their character! Be sure to give encouraging words, but most importantly, give the Word himself, Jesus Christ.
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Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada and I do my best to be a good wife.
And given that this is Social Media Day, I want to get this word out: “Joni Eareckson Tada does her best to be a good wife to Ken Tada. Yes, even with her quadriplegic limitations.” Okay, okay, I’m only kidding; I’m not asking you to hit the share button 500 times, but may I say that I think it’s true? I may not be able to whip up an omelet for my husband or rub his back, but I can uplift Ken Tada with words that impart grace, life, encouragement, mercy, and hope. If it were to be said that I am a good wife, it is because I love to affirm my husband with helpful, hopeful words. I might say, “Ken, thank you for visiting our elderly neighbor. It’s so good of you to have visited Bob.” Or I might say, “Ken, I'm so grateful you’re a man of prayer – I love the way, in a group, you always take the lead and invite people to pray!”
Now, that’s not flattery. I’m not sweet-talking to get my way. Rather, I am declaring the good that I see in Ken’s character – or, at least the good I want to help grow in his character. Because here’s the thing: If we have a hard time discerning stellar qualities in our spouse, that is when it’s most helpful to recognize whatever small virtues you see and grow them like a tiny seedling. Do all you can to nurture those virtues with life-giving words, affirming words. ’Cause Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Friend, your tongue wields great power, so let’s grow the character of others by imparting life through words that edify and build the other up in the best way.
Now, there are great ways to affirm others. Like, well, I don’t know, why don’t you commend a coworker on their committee report before moving to the next item on the agenda? It’s a way of affirming their input and leadership. Or you can affirm a person by sharing how their example inspires you; like, saying to them, “You know, I decided to bring coffee cake to the office because I see how much the staff enjoys it when you consistently do thoughtful things.” Well, that’s a way of affirming how they genuinely consider others.
You also affirm others when you loan them something of value – your prized recipe book, or the use of your car, or your fine china. When you place something of value in the hands of another person, it is a signal to them that you trust them with things that are precious to you. It’s affirming because it shows you think they are trustworthy, that they’re reliable, dependable. And your affirmation serves to grow their dependability and reliability. Your words can do that!
Friend, your good words can truly gladden the hearts of the people around you. Your words not only touch but can change other people’s hearts. Whether you say it in an email, or in person, in a letter, over the phone, or in a note, remember that what you say has the capacity to transform the countenance and the character of others. But the best word of all to give? Be sure to give the Word himself, Jesus Christ – he always, always has wonderful words of Life.
And, since this is Social Media Day, you might want to share this program with your friends. Let’s build each other up as the Bible tells us to do. Let’s edify, let’s strengthen the characters of those we love. And speaking of love! Ken Tada – the one whom I love to affirm – Ken and I are celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary this weekend! Woohoo! So, hey, affirm my husband, would you? Just jot him a note on my Facebook page or at joniradio.org.
© Joni and Friends