Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada, and it’s time for Joni and Friends!
Thanks for spending the next few minutes with me and if we were actually sitting down together, I would show you this email I just received yesterday. It was from a mother of a teenager who broke her neck in a car accident several years ago. This mother (I’ll call her Barbara to protect her privacy), Barbara and her daughter, Jessica, attended one of our Joni and Friends Family Retreats earlier this year. The two of them live up in Appalachia… they’re mountain people… they don’t have a lot of resources. And rehabilitation for Jessica since she broke her neck has been pretty minimal, so we were happy to scholarship them to come to Retreat.
Now it appeared that Jessica had a good time, but often – even if someone says they’re a believer in Jesus – often when that person gets home, the real story comes out, and that’s what happened in Jessica’s case. A teenager who becomes paralyzed is not going to change overnight. That’s what broke my heart when I read Barbara’s email. Listen to this: she said…
“Joni, I’m writing to ask you a question about my daughter, Jessica – why does my daughter tell me, her mother, that she constantly hates me and that she wishes that she would die? Jessica has much anger inside of her, and it doesn’t just affect her, it’s the rest of the family. We know that we’re not supposed to ask why did this happen to us, because we know there is a reason, but it’s hard not to ask.”
As soon as I read that, I was caught up short and I took a deep breath because I recalled the time when, like Jessica, I was a teenager who had just broken my neck and become paralyzed. I was the one who was angry, especially at my mother and father. The way I figured it, they were the ones who gave me birth – I wouldn’t have been in this predicament had my parents not gotten me born. I was going to make them pay. I was going to make them participate in my pain; I was going to make them feel the same anguish I was going through – and for a while there in the hospital, I did. I know it was twisted teenaged psychology, but since God was invisible and I didn’t seem to be able to hurt him with spiteful words, then I would strike out at someone who was visible… someone near, someone in the place of his authority over me, like my mother and father, you know what I mean?
That’s what I’m going to tell that to Barbara, and I’ll share it with Jessica, too. I’m going to tell them that although anger like Jessica’s is understandable; there is also a way out. There is hope; there is healing because we’re told in Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger, do not sin.” In other words, it’s possible to be angry and frustrated and yet still not get in hot water with God or others. The answer is to aim our anger in the right direction.
I’m going to be sending Barbara a booklet I wrote entitled, you guessed it, “Aiming Anger in the Right Direction.” In it, I share the specifics of how you can open your heart up for change, even when you feel like striking out. Look, I don’t know if you’re struggling with anger; or you may be like Barbara, asking, “Why does my daughter hate me so much?” If so, then you need to read this special booklet. It’ll explain what Ephesians 4 is all about… how it is that a Christian can be angry, and yet not sin? You can get your free copy just by visiting us at joniandfriends.org. Friend, don’t suffocate under those dark feeling of anger or resentment. Let God brighten your heart through his life-transforming love – and please join me, would you, in praying the same for my friend Barbara and her daughter, Jessica?
Used by permission of
JONI AND FRIENDS
P.O. Box 3333
Agoura Hills, CA 91376
© Joni and Friends