Have you ever been boiling mad?
Sure you have! Welcome to the human race, because we’ve all experienced anger. Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada for Joni and Friends and you know what, I’m no exception. There have been times when I would say I’ve been boiling mad. And isn’t it funny that we use those words? It’s curious how we treat anger as if it’s a fluid – you know, a fluid inside of us that builds up pressure. We picture anger like a hot steam inside a pressure cooker – we say that people are filled with anger or that they’ve stored it up and are waiting to explode. We think of anger as something inside of us that is pent-up and every once in a while we have to blow off steam or get it off our chests. And when our anger (as they say) is spent, or released… ah… you feel better. Isn’t it funny how all these metaphors depict anger as kind of a pressurized emotional fluid inside of us?
Well, my friend, David Powlison, describes this as the “hydraulic” way of looking at anger, as though anger is a thing or a substance, like something inside of you that builds up and must be vented every once in a while. There’s no doubt that these colorful descriptions do capture how anger feels, but those metaphors do not define what anger is. Because when we believe that anger is something inside of us – rather than something we actually do – then we can’t really deal with it. If we think of anger as only a pressurized substance of fluid, then we end up looking for ways to release pressure by letting off steam – getting it off our chest. I know some counselors have told people, “Here, take a pillow and grab that baseball bat and wallop that pillow; it’s a harmless, constructive way of getting anger out of your system. Believe me, you’ll be all the better for it. You’ll feel better.” But you know what, you won’t be better for it.
That’s because anger is a moral act… it’s not a thing inside of you… it’s an expression of you when you allow sin to have its way. The true solution to anger is to acknowledge when you’re wrong about something and to just repent. Frankly, I am absolutely amazed at how quickly my anger dissipates when I just admit that I’m wrong, when I confess and say, “You know what, Ken, my attitude was way off, please forgive me.” And I can honestly feel anger then drain away (there we go again using that metaphor… but it really does describe how we feel, doesn’t it?)! Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with using it as a metaphor… just so we understand that anger is not an emotional substance like pressurized steam. No, it is an indication that something’s amiss, something’s wrong, something needs to be confessed and made right.
As I said, my friend Dave Powlison (and excellent biblical counselor), has written a wonderful little book on the subject entitled “Anger: Escaping the Maze” and I would love to send it to you. It’s full of Scripture and it would be a great tool for use in a small group Bible study. You can get your free copy today by visiting me at joniandfriendsradio.org or you can always call toll-free 1-888-522-5664 and ask for the booklet on anger. Finally, let me leave you with this special word from James 1, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” That’s good advice for the next time you get boiling mad.
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