When you feel envy rising, shut it down by running to Jesus. He will transform your wants and wishes to be in line with his will, and you will find happy satisfaction in him.
We’ve all struggled with envy, and I am no exception.
Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada, and as you would guess – me, sitting in this wheelchair; me who cannot walk or use my hands – you can imagine that over the years, I have had a knock-down battle against envy, and it’s so hard to break free of it!
Like this story. Okay, so, just recently, a woman named Angie wrote, saying, “Joni… just over two years ago, I was diagnosed with my third cancer… It was stage 3 tongue cancer that made it difficult to swallow at which time I got a feeding tube and started treatment in [the] fall of 2020. As of June 2021, I am cancer free. However, due to the radiation treatment and scarring in my throat and tongue, [I’m] still on the feeding tube for nourishment (which may or may not be permanent). It truly has saved my life as I cannot swallow normally yet. Even so, [it’s] been a difficult journey and very isolating. [So] My question to you is, when you have a disability like that, how do you deal with the envy/jealousy of those who are healthy? I cook for my family… but I just watch others enjoy what I make. I didn’t expect to struggle with envy like this… [So] How has God helped you in your personal disability journey?”
Wow. And Angie has quite the story, doesn’t she? And although our disabilities are different, I understand the insidious power of envy. I mean, I used to look at people on their feet – athletic people hiking, playing tennis, swimming, horseback riding. I’d look at other marriages, knowing those women could satisfy their husbands in a different way than me. It was a ripe breeding ground for envy. It was like a vice grip on my heart; Proverbs 14:30 described me perfectly: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Man, envy does that, doesn’t it? It consumes, it overwhelms, it has you seething with discontent. “Why did you do this to me, God?” you think.
Finally, I just got tired of being miserable. I was missing out on so many things, like being happy for my friends who went hiking or swimming. I wanted to enjoy life again, and not feel trapped. And so, I called out; I cried out to God; I begged him to help rid my life of envy. And you know what his Holy Spirit told me? “Fix your eyes on Jesus, Joni. Trust Jesus and his plan for your life. Let Jesus reshape what you think is valuable. I mean, you think playing tennis is satisfying and valuable? Let Jesus show you what’ll make you really happy. Look to the only one who can satisfy, and he – Jesus – will give you a heart at peace. Don’t look at others, Joni. Look at him.” And you know what? It’s exactly what I’ve been doing now for decades. And when I do feel envy creeping in, I take it as a cue to pray for the very people who are able to do what I cannot do. I get my focus off myself by praying for them.
And I would say the same to Angie. When you feel envy rising, shut it down by running to Jesus. He will rescue you, redeem you, change you, transform your desires, and completely alter your wants and wishes to be in line with his will. And you, dear one; dear Angie, you will find happy satisfaction in him.
You know, I’m not sure if Angie is listening today, but I pray these words will prevent you from comparing your lot in life with others. Jesus has carved your name on the palm of his hand, so friend, there is no reason to envy others.
© Joni and Friends