When Ken and I get into a disagreement, it doesn’t often erupt into a torrent of nasty words. We’re beyond the yelling stage. Rather, it leads to icy silence. It may be a more quiet disagreement, but it’s no fun – there have been occasional evenings when he will hide behind his fishing magazine, and I will find solace in a book. But the eerie silence in our home never – and I can honestly say this, it never – lasts beyond bedtime and “lights out.” We both kind of hold out to see who will finally give in… then one of us will break the frozen silence with a “Can we talk?” What a relief! Neither Ken nor I can bear it any longer. We are the perfect picture of Psalm 38:4, 18 where the psalmist confesses, “My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear… I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin.”
It’s during those times of confession and forgiveness that our love for each other always deepens. He will sit on the side of the bed and confess his selfishness… I, in turn, will ask him to forgive me for my stiff-necked, stubborn pride. The most powerful moment then comes when we both acknowledge our sin before Almighty God. Psalm 51:4 reminds us, “Against you, you only, have [we] sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” That’s when the love of God overwhelms us with a renewed appreciation for his awesome mercy and majesty! And, finally, when Ken and I turn out the lights and kiss goodnight, we find our love for each other is renewed, as well.
Genuine contrition involves two things: honest confession and true repentance. Confession is an acknowledgment of personal wrongdoing before God and those we’ve injured. Repentance is a change of mind, as well as changed behavior. Those are tough things to do, but slowly, as the years go by, the distances between Ken’s and my disagreements are getting longer and longer. Proverbs 28:13 says, “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Oh, sweet mercy! What a relief it is to receive mercy from those you love… and to happily give mercy in return.
Do you need to make personal amends with anyone today? Before the dawn breaks tomorrow morning – or, before lights out tonight – show a little mercy. Break the icy silence. Remember, genuine contrition will ultimately result in a deeper appreciation for God's mercy, for his love… and an appreciation and love for the one we’ve hurt. It’s something my husband, Ken, and I learn afresh every time there’s a disagreement… every time we ask forgiveness of one another… and what do you know, every time, our love grows a little deeper.
Used by permission of
JONI AND FRIENDS
P.O. Box 3333
Agoura Hills, CA 93176
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