When I dine out, boy, can I be disruptive!
…I’d better explain that! Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada and as you know, I use a wheelchair as a result of a diving accident in which I became paralyzed – in fact, this weekend will mark 43 years I’ve been in this chair. Wow! Now, even though I’ve been sitting down for a longtime, I’m really not very wide; but my power wheelchair is, and so when I go out to eat in a restaurant – especially a crowded one where the tables are close together – well, I can disrupt a lot of people eating when I wheel my way to our table. It’s awkward to have to make people get up, move their chairs, shuffle to the side, grab their kids… but I try to make it as easy as possible, honestly I do, on other diners. And to be honest, you know I really don’t think most people mind; I mean, they can see that there’s no other way to my table.
Well, I have a girlfriend who uses a wheelchair too and when she goes out to a restaurant, it’s the same thing. She emailed me the other day and told me how embarrassed she felt to have to make such a scene. Lately she’s been wondering if she should just stop going to her favorite restaurants which are always so busy. But my thought was, “Why do you have to do that?!” She asked me how I handle awkward situations like being in restaurants, and so this is what I wrote her back. I basically said, “You know, when it comes to people in restaurants having to stand up, move their chairs, grab their kids’ arms, etc. as you try to make your way to the table, try doing what I do… Just take a deep breath, put on your best smile, and courageously begin making your way slowly to your table with words like… ‘Sorry to make you move your chair, sir, but what a GOOD Boy Scout you are’ or… ‘Ma’am, thank you for getting up, my husband keeps telling me how wide I am’ or you can always say… ‘Okay folks, we’re parting the Red Sea here, sorry’… or how about ‘forgive me for disturbing your meal; it’s my wheelchair that’s big, not me, honestly, it’s just the chair that’s big’… and of course it’s always nice to say… ‘Thank you, you’re very kind to assist’… and if it’s a whole table that must get up, it’s, ‘God BLESS you folks; I confer upon all of you, your Scout merit badges.’ …and everyone laughs.”
I find that most people are very willing to help and they’re looking for almost ANY humorous cue to relieve the awkwardness. I told my friend to try it sometime. And to believe the best in people – most folks totally empathize with wheelchair users in busy restaurants. It’s why I always like to put others at ease with kind words and a little bit of humor. It’s why I emailed my friend a wonderful verse from the Bible. Proverbs 16:21 says, “Pleasant words promote instruction.” Isn’t that great… “Pleasant words promote instruction.” It’s amazing how far your smile and a few pleasant disarming words can take you. And you don’t have to be in a wheelchair in a busy restaurant to understand that.
So the next time you’re enjoying a meal out and someone says behind you, “Coming through, friend, watch your toes,” it could very well be me in my wheelchair or one of my friends in a chair. And thank you for sliding your chair to the side and making way; bless you for doing it with a gracious spirit – believe me, it is people like you who make my life in a wheelchair so much easier when I’m out at a restaurant; I appreciate your patience and flexibility – it says a lot about you as a Christian, too. Oh, and if you happen to find yourself in an embarrassing or awkward situation, think the best of others.
Used by permission of
JONI AND FRIENDS
P.O. Box 3333
Agoura Hills, CA 91376
© Joni and Friends