Hi, this is Joni Eareckson Tada, and welcome to Joni and Friends.
You know, when I was first injured and only just beginning to realize that my paralysis was permanent, I remember identifying – and I mean really identifying – with Job. As far as I was concerned, mine were the trials of Job. I could not face living life as a quadriplegic. It was so overwhelming; it was so scary. Actually, the idea terrified me. And somewhere in those early days, I came across Job 2:9 where it says that “Job’s wife said to him ‘Curse God and die!’” And I’m going to tell you what, that sounded very tempting.
’Cause, there were nights I would actually toy with that idea. Darks nights in the hospital when, in my mind, I would tiptoe as close to that edge, as near to cursing God – dare I do that? I felt like I just had to take my frustration out on somebody. And not just anybody, but, you know, somebody who was, you know, responsible here. Oh sure, sure, I knew I was responsible for taking the stupid dive into the shallow water in the first place, but I meant a bigger responsibility, a cosmic one, like “God, you could have prevented this, but you didn’t.” So I was tempted to listen to the advice of Job’s wife. If I could not live without use of my hands or legs then, hey, why not just curse God and die!
But I was never quite able to do that. For I knew if I did, if I actually cursed God, it would be the end of hope. It would mean the absolute closing of the door on any – any – hopeful future. I knew that if I were to turn my back on God for my circumstances, I knew I’d be committing spiritual suicide. Oh, and not just spiritual, but emotional suicide. I would be cutting myself off from what I knew – way down deep I knew – was the source of every good and happy and hopeful thing. To turn my back on God would be to turn my back on myself. It would be the death of my heart and my soul.
So somewhere shortly after realizing this, I prayed a prayer in the dark, and I said, “God, if I cannot die, then please show me how to live.” No longer was it “curse God and die;” it was now “praise God and live.” Do a spiritual about-face. Believe that joy really would come in the morning. That God really did have hopeful plans for me for a hopeful future. I decided to follow the One who had the only words of life – Jesus – the Prince of Life; the Way, the Truth, the Life; the Resurrection and the Life. Most of all, Jesus, the Lord of all hope – the Blessed Hope, as it says elsewhere in the Bible.
Friend, I do not know what you are struggling with today, but perhaps you feel “that’s it, I can’t go on like this.” And you want somebody to pay. Well, please know that somebody did pay. Jesus paid the ultimate price; he bore the curse, and he died. And he did it all so that you – so that you and I could live and live with hope.
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