I don’t know if it’s my age or the changes I'm going through seeing that I'm in my 50’s… whatever it is, I haven’t been sleeping well for a few months. They tell me that’s what happens when women are my age, and I discovered many weeks ago not to fight it. It’s natural.
But there is an unnatural sleeplessness that I should be concerned about when it happens. Those are nights when I can’t get to sleep for all the wrong reasons. You’ve had it happen. C.S. Lewis calls them mad, midnight moments. Those are nights when I lie awake, hours when hope recedes, worries mount, and sleep refuses to come. But I found a way to turn something unnatural into something supernatural – I’ve learned to remind myself that God isn’t sleeping, either. He hasn’t caught a wink. He sits up with me all night. He hears me when no one else hears me, bending down to listen to my whisper. He knows every tear that falls from my eye, every thought that flits across my mind, every expression on my face in the darkness. God is awake.
Psalm 121 says, “He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.”
Sometimes at night when I hear Ken stir in bed, I will whisper, “Are you awake?” Maybe when we find ourselves wakeful in the wee hours of the morning, we should whisper that same question to God. “God, are You awake? Do You want to talk?” The answer from God will always be yes and yes again. Our Savior is certainly awake and alert, never groggy or drowsy, never disturbed by my call in the night, and always ready to talk to me and be a companion.
The Bible tells me that three things happen to me all night long. Three things happen when I feel the ache of loneliness. Number one, the Father is awake, and watches over me. He watches over my going out and coming in. He is behind me and before me and lays His hand over me. The second thing is, the Spirit is awake, and helps me in my weakness, praying prayers for me beyond what I could conceive, and with groans I cannot express. His very name, Counselor, means someone who comes alongside to help. And, finally, thirdly, Jesus is awake, too. He is ever my Advocate, ever my Counsel for my defense, the One who faces down every lying tongue in hell, the One who speaks to the Father on my behalf and who also prays for me.
If you haven’t been sleeping lately for whatever reason – natural or not-so-natural – if you find yourself wide awake at night, just remember that God is awake, too. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit never slumber nor sleep. And you know what? They’re praying for you. That’s a thought that should bring sweet dreams.
Used by permission of
JONI AND FRIENDS
P.O. Box 3333
Agoura Hills, CA 93176
© Joni and Friends