What, would you say, is the opposite of love?
Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada and I want you to think about that question just for a minute. Because most folks would say that hate is love’s opposite, it’s the antonym of love, but seeing that Valentine’s Day is coming up this weekend, I want you to consider something different. I want you to consider about a different opposite of love. Because I believe lust is the opposite of love. Not hate, but lust.
You see, love can always wait to give, but lust cannot wait to get what it wants, and it wants it right now – on the other hand, love is very happy to wait. It doesn’t mind waiting. We know from 1 Corinthians 13 that genuine love is never self-seeking, but lust always has a way of wheedling in and placing its selfish desires first – it always gets its way before anybody else. We all know that love is patient, love is kind, but lust, on the other hand, burns with impatience – it cuts in line ahead of everything else and just because it has to have its appetites satisfied right now, right away. The Bible says that love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. On the other hand, lust twists the truth and delights in whitewashing evil to make it look acceptable – lust deceives the person into thinking that what is bad is really good¸ “really it is;” and what is good? “Well, those people are just being rigid and uptight – and if my conscience bothers me, then I’ll just ignore it.”
From that, I think you’d agree that lust really is the opposite of love. Not hate, but lust. In fact, if you’re looking for a definition for lust, flip to 1 Corinthians 13 and replace the words “lust is not” for “love is.” In other words, lust does not rejoice in the truth… it is not patient… it is not kind… it always keeps a record of everyone else’s wrongs, and so on and so forth. Oh friend, I’m not out to hit anyone over the head here, but since people are talking about the subject of love this week and it’s Valentine’s, I think this little exercise with words and that passage in 1 Corinthians 13 can really help us get our moral bearings.
So let me ask you what I am asking myself this week: is there someone whose time, attention, and affection you crave? Maybe it’s not a person, but a position, or somebody else’s attention, or power. Desire for someone or something becomes unhealthy when it becomes consuming– when it’s all you can think about. So ask yourself this honest question, “How much time in a day do I spend thinking about this person? Or this thing? Or this position?” Another way you can determine whether or not a desire is unhealthy is to ask yourself, “Where or to whom do my thoughts drift when my mind is relaxed? Do I think about it most of the time, when I go to bed and when I get up in the morning?”
Well friend, do what I’m doing these days: take the advice of Colossians 3, “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature… impurity, lust, evil desires.” That’s what is says in Colossians 3:5. And I want you to join me in setting your heart and mind on living a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. Speaking of which, my husband Ken has a thing or two to add on this subject of genuine love and you can hear it for yourself by visiting joniandfriendsradio.org and watch that video. And while you’re there, tell me what you do to keep love fresh and focused on others. Just go to the tab that says “contact us” and let me know what you think.
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