God has designed disability to not make people independent, but rather interdependent. There should be no lone rangers in the church, no mavericks. You all are members of a body and are spiritually connected.
Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada and I do not mind being a burden.
Does that sound odd? Well it should. The best of believers will be quick to say, “I don’t want to be a burden on my family, and I’m going to do everything I can to see that I’m not!” We assume we are doing our family members a favor, a Christian service, as if it were their duty not to have to depend on anyone for help.
Yet this is what families were designed for, especially Christian families. The Christian family showcases to the world that sacrificial service is normal. Christians are supposed to give even when it hurts. We serve, even when – and especially when – we’re tired. We look out for others’ interests before our own. And if we do feel that we are put upon, then we find our example in Christ who “learned obedience to the things he suffered” [Hebrews 5:8].
As a quadriplegic, I have been on the receiving end of other people’s help for many, many years. My caregivers and my husband are experts in giving, even when it hurts, even when they are bone tired. Part of me, frankly, feels guilty about that. But God designed my disability not to make me independent, but interdependent. And as the recipient of my husband’s love, I do all I can to support him and my caregivers with gratitude, as well as to pray for them in their weariness. It’s the least I can do. It’s the family thing to do.
Gilbert Meilaender recently wrote in “First Things”, an excellent magazine – he wrote, “Families would not have the significance they do for us if they did not, in fact, give us claim upon each other. We do not come together as autonomous individuals freely contracting with each other. No, we simply find ourselves thrown together and we are asked to share the burdens of life while learning to care for each other.”
Sadly, I have many friends with disabilities who have opted to go into a nursing home in order to spare their families the weight of caring for their needs. They don’t want to be a burden. When this thinking becomes the norm, we stop living in the kind of moral community that deserves to be called a family. Nowadays, however, I wonder if Christians are too quick to institutionalize our elderly and disabled, rejecting the encumbrance of caring for our loved ones.
And here’s my point – there should be no lone rangers in the church, no mavericks. We don’t pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, touting to each other about how, “Oh, I’m independent; well I don’t need any help.” No, rather, we are members of a body. We are spiritually connected. We belong to Christ, and we belong to each other.
And in order to grow as a body, God will present us, especially in families, with inconvenient and unwanted interruptions to our plans. Could be a life-altering disability or dementia as our parent ages. Growth in Christ means learning how to deal morally and compassionately with these interruptions.
The highest Christian virtue is love. And as a quadriplegic who is rapidly aging, one part of me doesn’t want to burden my husband, Ken. But the other part understands that this messy, inconvenient stage of life is supposed to reflect God’s higher purpose for us as a couple, as a family, and that’s what Christian love is all about. And because Ken loves me, he will bear my burdens and thus fulfill the law of love. Besides, God has set quite the example. It’s why Psalm 68 says, “Praise to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” That’s your good word today from joniradio.org.
© Joni and Friends