Listen in and hear why the phrase the “big picture” is important to Joni and Ken. It’s a helpful tip for married couples or anyone in a relationship.
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SHAUNA: Welcome to Joni Eareckson Tada: Sharing Hope. I think you’ll agree, we all need to remember the big picture.
JONI: What is the big picture? Well, it’s a phrase Ken and I coined many years ago after we had one doozy of an argument. After we apologized, made amends, moved forward with things, we looked back and realized, wow, what in the world made us argue about that? Time and distance made the issue seem so small, so incidental, so meaningless compared to the larger issues of life. Like, how our examples encourage others who watch us, or how our words either push people toward God, or push them away. Larger issues like salvation, and the fact that heaven or hell is right around the corner for most everyone we know. Issues that have to impact Joni and Friends as we deliver wheelchairs and Bibles [God has given Ken and me such a wonderful mission] and helping other families that have a disability; and making God’s Word appealing, and the Gospel desirable, and our Savior famous. These are the things make up the big picture, the 35,000-foot view of life. And so, after that incidental meaningless argument so long ago, Ken and I covenanted together that we would do our best to always remember the big picture when things got us down.
And over the years, our marriage has been made stronger because of that one little vow we made between us. I remember once when we were in New England and on our way to one of our Family Retreats. Just outside of Logan Airport in Boston, we were arguing over where to eat. Unfamiliar with the city, I thought we should go to the closest restaurant, downtown. Ken thought we should drive away from the congested traffic. Finally, Ken out of frustration, jerked the wheel toward the nearest exit which emptied us downtown in the thick of traffic. “There,” he said, “what did I tell you?” It took nearly ten minutes to go two blocks in order to get to the restaurant that I had found on Google maps. When we parked and our two friends went ahead to get our names on the list, hunger and anxiety turned a small stone of disagreement into a wall of anger. So, Ken and I lingered behind on the busy sidewalk, just a few feet before the door of the restaurant.
With downtown Boston shuffling past at rush hour, we could only hear one thing: the silence between us. Streetlights flickered, and Ken just stood there with his hands in his pockets, kicking gravel. Finally, he looked up at me and he said, “Joni, what’s the big picture here?” And there we were again, claiming that motto, “What’s the big picture?” And that evening in Boston, I knew the answer. The big picture is always Jesus. It’s His reputation at stake in what we say and how we act, not only in front of others, but in front of each other. And so, there on the sidewalk, with Jesus now introduced into the mix, we could see what was behind our frustration. Because Satan hates—I mean he despises—Christian marriage, and he will use anything to his advantage, even an argument over where to eat. So, I put my wheelchair on forward; Ken reached for my other hand, and we went into the restaurant smiling. Our friends were already at the table, and they gave us a knowing smile. “Yep,” I said to them, “We were just out there discussing the big picture, that’s all.” Then we all had a good laugh. There wasn’t—and still isn’t—room for Satan in our marriage. As Ken and I remember the “big picture,” we have learned something important than what the enemy will do. We have learned what God will do. Praise Him for the big picture. Remember that next time you have an argument with your spouse.
© Joni and Friends