JONI: I always learn a lot from listening to other families that include someone with a disability and today I have my friend, Stephanie Hubach, on the line… Stephanie, introduce your family to us.
STEPHANIE: My husband Fred and I have been married for 23 years. Together we lead the disability ministry at Reformed Presbyterian Church in Pennsylvania. We have two wonderful sons; Fred is 16 and Tim is 14, and our youngest son, Tim, has Down syndrome.
JONI: You’ve gleaned much as a mother of boys – especially one with a disability – and you’ve written a book about ministering to families like yours, and you’ve called the book Same Lake… Different Boat. Where did you get that unusual title?
STEPHANIE: Well, when we approach someone who’s going through circumstances different than our own, I think we have a tendency to head towards one of two extremes – either we follow the American melting pot idea that we are all in the same boat and we fail to acknowledge the genuine differences, or we follow the post-modern idea that real understanding of others is not truly possible and we exaggerate the differences as if we were in different lakes entirely. But I think as Christians we need to practice identification that is like God’s example to us: one that’s not based solely on what we have in common or solely on how we’re different, but identification that’s intentional. That’s the idea behind Same Lake…Different Boat, this approach recognizes that as human beings we’re essentially the same, but experientially different. So, identifying with each other is a choice – a choice that can have tremendous blessings. And if you think about it in the spirit of Romans 12 it seemed like Different Boat is really a transformational work designed to renew our minds to think biblically about disability. So that our lives, our relationships, and our congregations might wholly reflect Christ.
JONI: Steph, I remember when I sat in your workshop at one of our Family Retreats. You talked about people with disabilities being abnormal in our normal world. Is that the way it is? Is that the real story?
STEPHANIE: No, I don’t think so. I think at – over the course of history – people with disabilities have been treated as if they’re abnormal in a world that is otherwise normal and, of course, it’s not hard to imagine why somebody with a disability would resent being seen this way. I think a lot of disability advocates today are looking at that perspective and saying “Well, no, disability is just a normal part of life, in a normal world.” If you go to some of the conferences you’ll hear things like “the disability is a difference no different than hair color.” Yet, that doesn’t really capture the essence of disability either because it denies the reality of some of the grief and some of the difficulties.
JONI: It’s like somebody saying that the sinking of the Titanic is just merely a boating accident.
STEPHANIE: Right; it really denies the level of the difficulty. I think the Biblical view of disability is simply, what the Bible teaches, is that disability is just a normal part of life in an abnormal world. In other words, disability is something that we should expect because the Bible tells us that the fall of humanity resulted in the world itself becoming abnormal. So, difficulty and challenges in life are something that every one of us experiences at every different level of our humanity.
JONI: And don’t be surprised at the fiery ordeal that’s about to try you, right?
STEPHANIE: That’s right.
JONI: You know, it’s interesting that you say that because sometimes people have said we’re all disabled; and that’s true, we are. But your broken fingernail is not the same as my neck, right? Well, I want to thank you for all that you’re doing to fan the flames of Christ’s love among so many families with disabled children. Friend listening, if you’d like more info on Stephanie and her work, you can visit the radio page at joniandfriends.org or call us and we’ll give you some info on how you can connect with Stephanie and all that she’s got going on in her church.
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