Loving your spouse sacrificially is an important principle in any marriage. Giving up wants and wishes on behalf of the other is a way of communicating love and respect. If you are married, ask God to help you look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of your spouse.
“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada, and I thought about this verse in Galatians during an email exchange with a disabled woman – I’ll call her Megan. She was asking me for advice about her marriage. She lamented that communication between her and her husband Tony was on a slow decline, and she wanted my help in fixing things. She realized that her multiple sclerosis certainly wasn’t helping things, especially when she would ask Tony for assistance. She depended on her husband a lot – and that was adding to the problem. And although she insisted that her husband got lots of breaks – an hour here, maybe an hour there – I asked if she honored those break times. I said, “Megan, does he actually get an honest-to-goodness break? I mean, like, do you respect his private time? Or maybe do you feel a need to keep asking him for stuff?”
“Well….” She stammered a bit like I was supposed to understand something that should’ve been obvious. “Well, Joni, sometimes I have to interrupt him. My disability just requires it. I’m like you; I need help.”
And I understand what Megan was driving at. When it comes to a disabling condition, you need things. But there is a more needful thing to consider: like keeping your marriage healthy. Showing respect for your spouse’s boundaries, especially in a marriage that has a disability. Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Megan can bear the special burden, the inconvenience of foregoing her husband’s help – whether it’s a drink of water or something out of the refrigerator she can’t reach. It’s a very special way that she can fulfill the law of Christ; that is, the law of love. She can show her husband love by respecting those times that he needs rest, and by assuring him that “everything’s fine; no need to get up; I’m okay!” And that she doesn’t mind waiting in the least. When it comes to healthy marriages, spouses are supposed to make sacrifices. Ephesians 5:2 says, “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” Spouses are called to give up a lot of things, a lot of wants and wishes on behalf of the other. It’s a way of communicating love and respect. And, as I told Megan, the next time Tony takes a break, think in advance whether or not you will need that drink before he goes off.
Look, you don’t even have to be a wheelchair user like Megan to do that. Loving your spouse sacrificially is an important principle in any marriage. And for a great example of sacrificial love, I want you to watch a heartwarming video of my friends and coworkers, Kevin and Jamie Stark. Kevin is a quadriplegic, and his wife is his main caregiver, and, oh my, the insights they share; the vulnerability, the transparency, well, you gotta see it for yourself. And I’m going to tell Megan to watch it, too. So just go to my radio page at joniradio.org, scroll down, and you’ll see the link there. I know you’ll be blessed by it. And while you are on my radio page, let us know how we can pray for your marriage, especially if you are struggling. Again, that’s joniradio.org. Where we sure do love sharing hope in your hardship. Especially if you are experiencing a few hardships in your marriage.
Oh, and one more thing – I want to send you a copy of our Joni and Friends newsletter. So just go to joniradio.org. The newsletter is filled with opportunities for you to serve people with disabilities in the name of Jesus.
© Joni and Friends