Anger is an expression of who you are when sin has its way in your life. Bring your anger and be transparent before the Lord, asking him for help in putting away your frustration.
Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada, and feeling anger is a fact of life!
And sometimes we treat it as though it were the “fluid” of life. You know how it is – we get angry and we say we’re “boiling mad!” Yeah, I don’t know what it is about anger, but we treat it as though it were a liquid – you know, the kind that builds up inside of us like hot steam inside a pressure cooker. We say that people are filled with anger or that they are ready to explode. We think of anger as something that’s kind of pent up inside of us, and we just have to blow off steam for relief. And then, when our anger is spent, then – ah – we feel better. But is it “right” to think of anger as a pressurized fluid of hot-tempered emotion inside of us that simply must, simply has to vent itself? Well, my friend David Powlison says that “This ‘hydraulic’ way of looking at anger does capture how it feels, but these metaphors do not define what anger is.”
When it comes right down to it, anger usually occurs when you feel as though your personal rights have somehow been violated. Like, “I was here first, not you!” We’ve all got these territorial boundaries and don’t no one dare cross them! Like, “I deserved better treatment than that, and I’m angry,” or, “I show up and everybody else is late; they don’t respect my time. That makes me so angry,” or, “He couldn’t care less how I feel; and I am boiling mad!” And so, anger is an expression of who you are when you allow sin to have sway in your life, when you allow pride to rule the day.
And your anger won’t get resolved by merely punching a pillow, or taking a cold shower, or knocking a hole in the wall. These things do not make us feel better. It’s because anger is a moral act. Again, it’s an expression of who you are when sin has its way in your life. Sin will deceive you and tell you that if you would just explode and let off a little steam, you’d be okay. But when you do, then you just feel empty and full of despair. No, rather, the biblical way to handle anger is to be transparent before the Lord. God himself has said in Ephesians 4 that he will help us “put away all bitterness and wrath and anger.” And it’s true. God helps us do that. I’ve experienced it time and again. I mean, take my relationship with my husband Ken. Sometimes when he ignores how I feel, I am so tempted to explode or to give him the cold shoulder in retaliation. But I have learned to quietly go first to God and say, “Lord, I can tell it’s my pride that’s wounded here, isn’t it? It’s all a matter of me just wanting my way, I know it is. So, oh, Lord, please help me put away my anger. Help me, Jesus, to look out for my husband’s interests before my own.” So, there, what am I doing with my anger? I’m aiming it toward God. I don’t mean “against” God; no, I’m taking my hot-headed feelings and just laying them at his feet, asking for his help, and asking for him to help me put away anger just as he says he will in Ephesians 4. “Help me, Jesus; help me release this anger to you.”
You know, there’s so much more I want to say on this topic, and so, I would love it if you would go to joniradio.org today and get my free pamphlet. It’s just for you! It’s called “Anger: Aim it in the Right Direction.” It’s free and so, get your copy today at joniradio.org. And hey, a lot of people – I dare say a lot of Christians – are wrestling with anger right now. It’s part of our cultural problem, and there is a biblical, constructive way to resolve it. Find out how today at joniradio.org.
© Joni and Friends