Hi, this is Joni Eareckson Tada and welcome to "Joni and Friends."
This is where we occasionally talk about some sticky issues — sometimes, life-and-death ones. And I believe each of us will face that life-and-death issue, especially as our parents’ age … as we age. But sometimes it’s not a matter of how old you are. I remember when I was stuck on that geriatric ward in a state institution shortly after my diving accident, I just didn’t want to live … I didn’t want to live like this: a quadriplegic in a wheelchair.
My roommates — there were five of them in our six-bed ward weren’t as despairing, except for one girl named Ada who had broken her neck in a car accident. She was 17 years old, like me, except she had a pretty crusty exterior. And there was absolutely no way that Ada was going to “sit down” as it were and accept a life of total and permanent paralysis. She just refused to live totally dependent in a wheelchair.
Now, there was really no way Ada could engineer her own death … except, to smoke as many cigarettes as she possibly could in hopes that… that she’d get lung cancer or something like that. Now I know it seems odd that the hospital I was in back then allowed smoking in the rooms, but well … you’ve got to understand this was back in the 60’s.Although Ada could not use her hands, she had an odd device that sat on her lapboard that could hold cigarettes. And there was a long tube through which Ada could inhale … and inhale she did, cigarette after cigarette. She kept that tube in her mouth all day, puffing and inhaling that awful smoke.
Now, even though I was as despairing of life as Ada, the idea of killing myself through cigarettes was, for me, not an option. And thankfully, there was no way I could ‘make good’ on my wish to end it all … just die … just go to heaven … just be done with this suffering. It was around that time that Christian friends came into the hospital — yes — to minister to me, but also to my roommates. In time, Ada’s attitude began to change — after a year of inhaling all that smoke, she gave up the habit after she was released from the institution. And I learned several years later that Ada eventually embraced Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. I was thrilled to hear this news, and wrote to tell her. We kept up a correspondence for quite some time, but what is sad is, after awhile, she did succumb to lung cancer. Unfortunately, she got her wish … but at a point in her life where she had learned to really enjoy living.
I read a lot of disability reports, and it is amazing how many people like Ada there are. They just cannot accept the reality of permanent and total paralysis. And, unfortunately, it’s a different society now than it was back many decades ago. It’s a different era, a different age. Plus, who would have dreamed the day would come when the family of a disabled or dying loved one would have to study a medical dictionary to understand exactly what “dying” is? Well, if you are facing life-and-death issues … or just despairing of life because it’s so hard … I would love to send you a pamphlet that I wrote called, When is it Right to Die? In it, I talk about the line between living and dying, as well as God's wisdom for weighty questions you may be facing at a hospital bedside. Please let me send you a copy; just visit my radio page today at joniandfriends.org and we’ll get it off in the mail right away. It’s a great resource to help you grapple with death and what the Bible calls that last great enemy.
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